Author Archives: Ryan

JUST SAYING (A SUB-GENRE OF GREAT AMERICAN TRAGEDIES)

This blog has DIED. Our readership depends on us, guyssss (this is directed to fellow contributing No I Can’t Sluts). I am boycotting until someone ELSE posts something. Honestly this makes me sad. We were on a roll for awhile. … Continue reading

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MY MOM (VIA TEXT) ON ‘500 DAYS OF SUMMER’

From: Mom This chic in 500 days of summer…..Summer drives me crazy.ucant tell a guy u dont want a boyfriend then treat him like he is ur boyfriend….act like u do love him…….sleep with him…..eat with him….shop with him….hold his … Continue reading

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HALLOWEEN SAFETY (IN JULY)

A sense of humor might do the trick. An excerpt from a 1977 Centron Films safety video about Halloween. FYI, No I Can’t Slut now resides on YouTube – I’ve made our own channel! SHE LIVES, I TELL YOU! LIVESSSSSS.

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MINUTE MEAL MONDAYS (ON WEDNESDAY)

“CEREAL AND WINE!” “What of it?” To keep it classy, add a glass of white wine to any meal. Corn Chex Cereal (3.99); 1% Milk (2.99); Carlo Rossi Jug o’ “Rhine” (5.99)

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THE EPITOME OF MY CURRENT STATE

Breaking Bad style. “COME AND GET YOUR POPCORN!” Popcorn for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

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RUDDY OR NOT

Just googled “How do I cool my red face off?” because Mona’s drunk face is flushed. This is what I got: Help me.

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DOT D. (DISEASE OF THE DAY)

I’m not usually a hypochondriac, but I’m noticing some white spots on my skin. I THINK I HAVE VITILIGO.

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