Author Archives: Bryan

About Bryan

How does it feel to be a budget cut?

NEED SIGNS? WEGOTEM!!

Parker Posey: Our Life In Signs

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AN OPEN LETTER TO SPECIAL AGENT DANA SCULLY

Hi Dana, I love you and I miss you. Best, Bryan Gerhart, Esq.

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CAN’T HELP LOVIN’ THAT LEMONADE

Bizarro dance from 1936’s racist ass musical “Show Boat” set to Gucci Mane’s “Lemonade.” No editing done other than syncing it up, which means these two were destined to find each other. Fate, y’all. Fate.

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“THE ROUGH NIGHT” OR “21st CENTURY PROSE”

The other day Daleen and I were walking around Albany Bulb, trudging through unrealized ambitions and vague political remarks, when I posed a question that, in retrospect, seems highly inconsequential (Ew, who actually talks like that? Eff that noise). I … Continue reading

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NEW WORD: BLOATATION

Main Entry: bloa·ta·tion (noun) 1. To “have bloatation” is to possess the unfortunate quality of being bloated. See: bloated. Example: I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that whole box of hard pretzels, those three packs of Fruit Roll Ups, that … Continue reading

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INSERT REQUISIT 90S WITTICISM HERE

I remember sitting in my neighbor’s room listening to these and playing Playstation. The grey one.

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WHEN I GROW UP

I wanna be the guy who writes songs about JG Wentworth. That’s something I could do. That’s something I could get behind. Similarly, job hunting must be really satisfying for people who don’t want jobs.

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